she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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