I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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