Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize