i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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