I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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