I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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