I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
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I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
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I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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