i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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