HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
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What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
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Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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