Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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