Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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