Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize