alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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