A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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