I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize