worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Who died my cat blue again?
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