I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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