It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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