That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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