I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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