On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
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Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
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All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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