not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize