I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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