He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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