My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize