this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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