the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
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He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
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That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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