my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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