you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
