Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Randomize