If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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