i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize