Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The beer is more important than you right now.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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