OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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