I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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