it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
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when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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