vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
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Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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