I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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