This is not my ceiling
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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