I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize