I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
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I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
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He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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