But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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