yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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