paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
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and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
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We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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