Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
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I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
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We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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