I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize