i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Randomize