dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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