Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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