i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
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It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
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I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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