Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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